Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
