There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
