member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
