you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize