Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
