I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
