Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
