i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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