Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
