"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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