Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
you made out with another girl for some wings
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
