she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
