I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
