something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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