gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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