There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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