She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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