Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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