i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
