if you like me you must not know who I am
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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