I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
