just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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