I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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