At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
