i think my tv is drunk
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
As shirtless as possible
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
