I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We have so much sex to catch up on
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
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