You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
