He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
