I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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