i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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