whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
