White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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