she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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