One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
