Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
