brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
