You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
