Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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