I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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