Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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