she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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