I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
