Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
