thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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