He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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