I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
