yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
