There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
