I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
