3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
